If you are a dog mom who can still remember a time before motherhood (I’ve noticed most moms can’t objectively remember pre-mom life) you’ll recall that your dog was your first child. Your baby. A spoiled furry, barking piece of your heart. 

Just now I sat in my couch and Lia, my cocker spaniel, sat beside me, facing me with her face resting on my knee, gazing into my eyes. The way she looks at me when she’s cuddly like this fills my heart with so much joy it often brings tears to my eyes. 

I pet her head and felt a worry that she may feel left out when baby comes home. I would hate that. She’s my first baby. She was here for me, through heartaches and breakthroughs many don’t even know about.

She was here even before my husband or marriage were a thought much less a part of my life.

She’s been my true ride or die for 6 years and what if I’m so consumed in baby- in the way all moms paint that dreadful picture of life becoming painful feedings, spit up and permanent exhaustion – that my heart and day just won’t have enough space and time for the one who’s been witness and support through it all, before baby, before husband, before everything?

She’s the one who knew first that I’m pregnant. She sat beside in the bathroom while I peed on the stick. She watched me as I read the test. She cuddled me a little extra for the weeks that followed knowing I wasn’t quite myself.

If this motherhood thing is as all consuming as other moms say it is, how will I make my heart stretch to fit everyone else who matters?

If this motherhood thing is as all consuming as other moms say it is, how will I make my heart stretch to fit everyone else who matters?

If this motherhood thing is as all consuming as other moms say it is, why do people choose it?

I don’t want to be like those other moms who lose themselves in motherhood and poke their heads out years later feeling like they’ve lost their identity and their only purpose is being a mom. I’m more than a mom. I love everything I am already.

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I am a fun and spontaneous wife. 

I am a supportive and present friend. 

I am a present and fun dog mom. 

I am a badass entrepreneur available to my clients and partners. 

I am a dancer, a media personality, podcast host, speaker and MC for large scale events. 

I need to discover how I can keep all these parts of me and add “mom” to the mix without losing the essence of who I am now to whom I will need to become. 

Is this too much to ask? 

I don’t care if it is… I need to discover how to make it happen.